PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Congratulations! We have a period
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
