At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
