seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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