who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
