i don't like sucking hair
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
