If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
no you cant smoke seaweed
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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