just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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