No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
