Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
