When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
you never un-have a 4some
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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