sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
