i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
