I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
