From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize