i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
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