saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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