its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
