her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
