and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
