Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
My feet surprised me
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
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