Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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