thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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