Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
