you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize