he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
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