Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
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