nut hugger
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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