I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
