I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
