Barsexuality is the new black.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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