He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
