How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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