I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
