Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
