She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
