I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
