new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
