i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
