Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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