I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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