i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
the raccoons are back...
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