I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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