I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
