Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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