Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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