Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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