My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
