Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Randomize
