So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
