shes about as inviting as chlamydia
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
