You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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