Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
