So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
