I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
