Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
