So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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