I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
