i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I wish there were birth control emojis
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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