I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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