You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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