i jhust puked up my retainher.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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