i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I understand Curling. That high.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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